Expectations

I've been waiting,
fighting this damn gnawing anxiety,
rotting in the small of my back,
like an apple thrown in discord.

I've said my piece, fallen to pieces, and stooped to collect them countless times.
I've loved and lusted, lavishly and luckless.
I've done my time, and often wasted it on people, adventures, pursuits that simply weren't worth it.
I've danced with friends, around fears, and in impulsive rain.
I've soaked up random facts from books, and dipped my feet in freezing water.
I've walked the line, the walk, and around in circles.
I've tried and been tried beyond my wildest expectations.

So someone please tell me, what am I waiting for?